Can I get you a beverage?

Should I be worried that I had to use a shopping cart when I was at my favorite beverage depot and there was nary a party in sight?

The Hubby was making dinner yesterday afternoon (yes, The Hubby cooks, yea!!!), when he announced that I should go get beverages.  I responded that no, he should go...and he said no, you should go...and I said...well you get the idea.

I went.

He probably should have gone...less money would have been spent.  To my credit, I only bought one bottle of wine.  It was the beer (mmmmm...beer) that added to my total, oh and the bottle of peach schnapps so that he could make his beloved girly drinks.  (There's something about being in a bar and having your husband order a Fuzzy Navel, while you are drinking a beer that screams...Look at me, I'm such a girly man!)

Since I am incapable of running quickly into a store, this trip took a little longer than it should have.  There are just too many choices in the wine department, and I have some pretty stringent standards when it comes to my wine.

Standard #1 - It must be cheap...not necesarily Two Buck Chuck cheap, although TBC is pretty good & I have had some really good wine from Aldi in the $4 range, but preferably less than $8.

Standard #2 - Although I will buy "normal" wine, the funnier the name the better.  We are always scouring the shelves for the silliest names we can find.  My current favorite is a Pinot Grigio called Mommy's Time Out.  I've also found a red called Bitch, tho I don't really like reds so I haven't actually tried that one.

If you know of any good ones...please...let me know!

Should I  be worried that I wrote an entire post about a trip to the liquor store?

Oh well, it's been worse...When The Big One was a baby, The Hubby used to yell across the grocery store, "TBO, tell mommy to get out of the liquor aisle!"

Nice...

I'm losing it...

...no really I am, I swear!

I started reading a new book today by Sophie Kinsella (author of the Shopaholic series). About 10 pages in I realized that I had already read this one.

You have got to be kidding me?!?

Now it's never been a secret that I have a terrible memory, especially when it comes to books & movies. I had to see the movie, The Firm, like 3 times before I could remember how it ended.

Which reminds me of a story about the interview for my first job out of college. It was for a position at a large law firm in Chicago and I had just recently seen The Firm. The interviewer kept referring to the firm with, "the firm does this...the firm does that" It was all I could do to not laugh. I held my tongue and got the job (and worked there for 13 year by the way) so all was well, and guess what...I still refer to it as "the firm".

Anybabble, (this is why my family refuses to listen to the messages I leave them on their voicemail, because I tend to go off on tangents when leaving them...maybe my middle name should have been, But I Digress!)...See what I mean.

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah, so 10 pages in I realized I'd read this book before. Normally this wouldn't phase me...I do this quite often actually (you know...the bad memory & all), but I read the book synopsis and it didn't seem familiar. Again, not so abnormal for me, except for the fact that the story is about a woman being haunted by her dead aunt.

You'd think I'd remember a story line about a freakin ghost!

But wait...there's good news...Since I can't remember the ending...I get to read it again, yea!!!!

Stretch...2...3...4...

Leading today's workout...The Snowbot

Feel the Burn People...

Rant Much...

Nine of the thirteen TVs at the gym today showed Tiger Woods saying he was sorry for schtuping a bunch of other women.

Puh-leeze...

Was it really necessary to have a national news conference?  As if his wife and children weren't embarassed enough, he needed to suck up to his sponsors and beg for forgiveness.  Maybe if we as a society didn't put athletes and other celebrities up on pedestals, and encouraged our children to look up to "normal" everyday folk for inspiration, Tiger's family wouldn't have to go through the humiliation of a public apology.

I just hope that his children are not too damaged from all the scrutiny and that his family can move past this and find peace.  And maybe next time he'll think a little more about his kids, than about the Little Tiger in his pants.

Oops...sorry didn't mean to go off on a tangent.

That sucks Thursday...

Today being Thursday and all, I guess I can't really call it Whiney Wednesday...although it would be kinda funny if I got you all thinking today was Wednesday and not Thursday...hmmmmm.

Anyhoot...I want to whine a little today, so I'm going to call it, That Sucks Thursday!  Here are just a few things that annoyed the pish out of me this afternoon...

* Being fooled by the freight train...You know what I mean...you are far enough back in line that you can only see the top half of the train cars and then a flat bed comes by giving you that little...yea, the train is done tingle...only to be crushed when it is followed by another 300 cars...

* When police cars do the speed limit...I'm not asking for them to drive like they are on the autobahn or anthing, just a couple of miles over the speed limit, so I don't have to crawl behind them.

* Melting icicles...okay in reality I'm happy when icicles melt, because it usually means that it's warm enough for them to melt or that at least the sun is out, but come on.  I've gone through enough salt to melt The Rockies, because the icicles melt and then refreeze right outside my front door.  Enough already!

* The melting Snowbot...because it's just sad.  He's lost his face, and The Big One was upset after school because he couldn't get his mouth (made out of stones) to stay on.


On a lighter note...did you notice...I got a new follower...Kiera from Imperfect Daisies go check her out.

AND...

we added a new fish to our tank...I can't remember what it's called, but it's one of those scum sucking fish that eat all the algae.   So I guess not all sucky things are bad today!

Thanks for reminding me...

So I had an appointment today with a personal trainer at the gym.  It's was one of those, hey you're new here so let's do a fit test and see just how fat you are and then we will try to get you to pay for a personal trainer, kind of appointments.   The woman I met with was nice and she was very discreet with my weight so I didn't have to kill her.

Here is what we discovered...I'm fat, my BMI is beyond bad and I have virtually no flexibility.  Wait, there's good news...the little strength test put me in the "fair" range.  Hooray!!! That's one step up from poor, woo hoo!  I can probably lift a can a soup, but that's about all.

Needless to say, she told me walking through the front door is an accomplishment and then we set up some sort of a workout schedule for me, that will include strength training...and tomorrow I get to go back so she can show me how to use the weights without killing myself...yippee!

Just you wait I figure in about 4-5 weeks I'll look like this...

Okay maybe not exactly like this.

Yeah, yeah I know it's been a few days...and I know you miss me.  Never fear, I am here now!

On Friday night, The Hubby & I got to go to a movie, since The Boys spent the night with Grama.  And since, we never get to go to the movies, I made The Hubby spend the extra dough on the Premier Theater.  You know, a rich mans Brew & View.  This theater had fancy and really comfy love seats, free popcorn and best of all...beverages of the adult variety.  We could have gotten free valet, but we didn't know that until we were on our way out...damn.  Oh well, next time.

We argued about what to see for awhile and and finally decided on Avatar in 3D.  Can I just say, 3D has come a long way since Jaws 3.

Anychomp, I was so in awe of the visual effects of this movie (storyline...so so) and bolstered by the sheer number of beverages I consumed that I started to take notes on my phone so I could do a blog post about it. 

Here is that memo...hmmmmm  what????

I ve been ruined for all movirs..copius beverage jake eowood blues why cmmander always drink coffee?
Muted colors

Shall we try to decipher?

I understand the ruined part...obviously any movie that allows me to drink copius amounts of beverage while watching in really comfy seats is going to spoil me for future movie experiences.

The  jake eowood blues threw me for a second, then I remebered the 3D glasses...and it came back.  How could you not like looking so cool with Jake & Elwood 3D glasses.

During one of the battle scenes the commander of the ship stood there drinking a cup of coffee and it occured to me that that is not so uncommon in movies...why is that?

Muted colors...back to the 3D glasses again.  The dark tint muted all the colors on the screen, and I found that a little annoying.

Now you may be wondering...what is the point of this post?  Well I'll tell you.

You should never text while drinking in a movie theater. 
It leaves you wondering WTF????

Now to leave you with this week Monday Music selection...

Martha Stewart's a B*TCH or Look at the Really Cute Photo Collage I Made

One of the best things about my new gym is that there are wall to wall giant TVs at the front of the room.  If I position myself on the treadmill just right I can get a good view of four maybe five different programs without straining too much.  And you know that being able to watch several shows at once is like heaven for me.

A week or so ago, I happened to be watching Martha Stewart, and one of her guests was a woman who works for her magazine (her name was Darcy I believe), and can I just say this woman is a scrapbooking goddess.  No...really...her scrapbooks were amazing.  I could never in a million and three years be nearly that creative.  And it wasn't just scrapbooks, she made shadow box collages and photo montages...A-MA-ZING!

Anygush...she had a bunch of things on display and one of things I saw was this photo collage she did of her kids.  Let me see if I can find a picture...hang on a sec.

Okay...I'm back...I found it.

This is a collage of one of her kids with pictures taken every month for the 1st year.  I love the filmstrip type layout.  I have The Boys monthly pictures framed, but not nearly this neat and condensed.

Needless to say, I'm now obsessed with redoing the collage this way.

So...off to Michael's I go...looking for a suitable picture frame (I refuse to pay for custom framing).  And of course they don't have one.  So I grab one that might work and take it to their framing department to get an idea of what it would cost to get a mat made to fit the frame with the odd dimensions I would need. 

Yeah...the mat would cost twice as much as the frame itself.   Why, Martha, why must you have guests that have such cute ideas, that make me want to copy them, so that I can have the cute little picture collages or photoboxes like they do....BITCH!!!!!!

But no worries,  I will not be stopped, I will have it I tell you, I.WILL.HAVE.IT! 

I'll figure out how to do it on a normal persons budget and I will get what I want.  Trust Me!


P.S.  Here is a link to pictures of some of the things Darcy has done.  If you have a few minutes and want to feel completely inadequate like me, you should check it out...there are a lot of really neat ideas.

The Snowbot...

The Big One has been on my *ss politely asking me every time a snowflake falls if we could make a snowman.  When there was barely enough snow to make a snowball the kid wanted to build a snowman.  He's been obsessed. 

Lately the snow we seem to get is that loose powdery stuff that is lousy snowman making snow.  What I've been patiently (and when I say patiently what I actually mean is I hope it never arrives, because I hate the cold almost as much as I hate housework and the last thing I want to do is go crawl around the ground freezing my heinie off) waiting for is that fat wet pain in the a** to shovel snow that sticks together like a giant pot of yummy yummy warm delicious chili sticks to your ribs. 

So far...no luck (damn *wink* *wink*)

Oh but wait...while I was out shoveling the driveway yesterday (yes...shoveling...I can't get the frickin snowblower started) I caught a glimpse of my neighbor making the army of snowmen that always appear on his front lawn when it snows.  And up until now, I've always wondered how he's gotten it to pack.

No worries...I now know his secret.

Duh!!!!!!

It never occured to me to pack the snow in a tub.  I have one...and guess what it works!  The light powdery crap snow can be packed and formed into a very bizarre looking snowman.  This also explains the strange shape that his snowmen always seem to have.

So after a few failed attempts and very very very little help from The Big One who wanted nothing to do with the actual making of the snowman...

Wah-Lah!  Meet The Snowbot!

So what if he's a little crooked and he has a square head...

He's still standing!

...and yes those are tinker toys!!!!

Mmmmm food....

How is it that I am the mother of the two pickiest eaters in the world?  And when I say pickiest I don't mean in the they will only eat chicken nuggets and macaroni & cheese kind of way.  If only they were that consistent. 

The Big One will eat nuggets one day, but the next, nuggets are the grossest thing in the world, how dare I even consider that he might eat them again. 

The Little One is currently obsessed with corndogs and would eat them for every meal if I let him.  Until he changes his mind again, and refuses to eat them at all.  Of course I will have just bought a huge box of them. 

We still have two boxes of frozen waffles that we bought a while ago, which The Boys then refused to eat and have not eaten since.  And I'm talking a good six months at least.

Anybabble...this whole diatribe was brought on by a couple of photos I found of the them taken a few years ago.

Okay I know this is a donut, but these photos were taken about four years ago and the kid would eat anything.  Food was like crack to this kid.  Look at his face in the last picture...Mmmm  Donut!

The Little One loved him some beans...now won't even consider touching them.

Sucker....

The Hubby went with me and The Little One to the gym today.  He loved it...just like I do.  Who would've ever thought that I'd say I love going to the gym.

Of course this is hardly a gym...it's more like a Hilton with no beds.  I am in love with the locker rooms.  They offer everything ...towels...shampoo...conditioner...shaving cream & razors...other girly items that are sometimes necessary (I don't think they have those in the men's locker room though).  It's pure heaven...they have a sauna and jacuzzi IN.THE.LOCKER.ROOM!!!

I know...right!

Oh yeah...they have treadmills and ellipticals and weights and stuff too!

A couple of more trips and maybe The Hubby will be hooked and won't make me give up my membership.  We'll just have to see.

P.S. Hey, Mar...10 minutes...the yellow ones....love the yellow ones...well maybe not love, but definitely like a little.

Dirty Harry????

Well, the votes were cast and not nearly enough of them for our guy...oh well, we'll survive, we always do. It was one of those opportunities that The Hubby just couldn't pass up. It would have been great if he'd won, but life goes on...

Now on to the fun stuff...

The Little One was standing over me last night, pointing a Nerf gun at me as he said, "Don't make me shoot you mommy! Next time your not going to eat all the Cheetos, right?"

Should I be concerned?

Vote for me...vote for me...

It's election day here in Illinois, and it's a biggie...not that you'd know based on expected voter turnout...but really it's a biggie.  Lot's of big races.

Our scandelous former Governor (Blago) has disgraced that office, so lots and lots of candidates trying to take over.  The Senate seat vacated by Pres. Obama is up for auction grabs and lots and lots of candidates are going after that one.  In my congressional district, the incumbant is trying to win that Senate seat so his seat is also open. 

Which brings me to the reason why I am babbling about elections and politics in general (I usually try not to babble about politics).  The Hubby is running the campaign of one of the canidates in the congressional race.  As he has been unemployed for a couple of months, the win would give us a little bit of security for the next little while.  So...whether you live in the district or not...get your ass over here and vote...it is Chicago after all!

Now if I may leave you with a little something that may alienate you all from my blog...

Yep...

Poo...or as we now like to call it "poopanucil"...thank you nickelodeon!

The Little One was on the toilet doing his business, and since he refuses to go to the bathroom alone I was in there with him.  We were chatting and our conversation was punctuated with little plops here and there, when all of a sudden there was a PLUNK!!!!  It was so loud, it actually caught me off guard. 

Poo that large should not come out of a body so small...his daddy would be so proud!

Now if  you are still here...please enjoy today's musical selection...

Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Impression That I Get