4 Minutes & Why I Just Might Hate Ellipticals!

You know what an elliptical machine is, right?  Yeah... with the encouragement and quick tutorial from a friend, I got on one today at the gym...

4 minutes...that's all I lasted...4 minutes.  And I barely survived that.  I thought I was going to die.  I wanted to curl up in the locker room and take a nap, my legs were so sore...after 4 minutes!  Unfortunately they have a two hour time limit in the child care center, so I couldn't.

Maybe next time I'll make it 4 minutes and 10 seconds!!!!  Hey I can hope, can't I.

After the gym, The Little One & I went shopping for birthday presents.  One for a little boy in his preschool class, the other for a dog...yep...a dog.

We attended a doggie birthday party complete with little dog shaped cakes for the kids and doggie treats for the dogs.  Oh did I forget to tell you...our dog went along.

Did you hear me... not only did I buy a gift for a doggie birthday party, but I also took my dog.  She refused to wear a party hat.  I think she was afraid it would clash with her outfit.  She's a little high maintenance that way. 

At least someone in our household is girly, cause it sure ain't me!

All this while driving around in the clown car that belongs to my father in law.  He was in need of my truck today so we switched cars.  I drive a small SUV.  He drives a very small 1998 Toyota Corolla.  I felt like a giant every time I had to climb in.  You know what I discovered about this car...NO DRINK HOLDERS!!!!!  You forget how important those are until you have no where to place your beverage!

Well I'm off now...I need a nap...way too much excitement for one day.

Earlier this evening, while sitting on the bleachers patiently waiting for The Big One's basketball practice to start, I was watching a group of guys playing a pick-up game.  There was one guy there that had his shorts in that precariously-low-sitting-just-below-the-ass kinda way that today's youth think is so awesome!

Personally I don't get it...why is this fashionable?

This guy ran up and down and up and down the court.  How is it that his pants did not fall down?  Was the waistband tight enough to hold them up?  Is he well enough endowed that that did the trick?  Or, did he use that special girly tape that actresses on the red carpet use to keep their boobies from popping out?

Just wonderin'

And to finish off...here is your not so daily dose of The Little One...


TLO : Mommy, how many germ are in my cough-es?


Me : I don't know...Seven


TLO : No...Zero.  There is a dance party in my cough-es!

WTF!!!!

Conversations with The Little One

So The Little One and I were tooling along down the road, when this little conversation took place. 

TLO: Mommy...do you know there is a way to keep your deli meats and cheeses fresh longer.

Me:  really?

TLO: yep, there are special green bags the let all the stinky air out.

Me: they let the stinky air out?

TLO: yep, they keep your deli meats and cheeses fresh longer...Mommy, what are deli meats?

Thank you Debbie Meyer...and the informercial gods.


I completely forgot Monday Music yesterday... so look in the sidebar on the right to check out my newest musical selection...

Memoir Monday...

Here's is another installment of Memoir Monday with Travis over at I Like to Fish. 

How to Miss a Football Game in three four five Several Easy Shots!

I have recently reconnected with an old college friend on Facebook and thought I'd embarrass the both of us and potentially upset my father with one of our more insanier (is that a word) moments. 

I was living off campus at the time, conveniently across the street from the football stadium.  One very cold Saturday, my friend Agnes & I, had tickets to the game.  Agnes was still living in the dorms (on the complete other side of campus) and suggested that I come there before the game so we could partake in some liquid warmth of the Jager variety... bleeeeccccchhhhh!

Anydrunk, after way too many shots we stumbled into the hall to head to the game and bumped into the RA.  The year before I had lived on this floor and had the same RA, so she knew us both very well.  Against her better judgment, she agreed to drive us to the game.  I think she feared we would never make it if we tried to walk.

So...after missing the first quarter, we finally arrive at the stadium (honestly I'm surprised they let us in).  Our first stop...The Hubby's seats (still only friends at this point), where he was sitting with him roommate and his roommates parents...NICE!  Nothing like meeting the parents of friends when you are a wee bit tipsy.

We somehow found our seats and giggled through the second quarter. 

At the half, we decided to head back to my apartment (across the street...yeah, I don't know why we didn't start there to begin with either) to warm up.  I was woken up a couple of hours later by my roommates brother as he was throwing a blanket over me, saying that he didn't think I wanted his dad to see me in my long underwear (thank god I had long underwear on). 

For some reason, I took off my pants and fell asleep on the living room floor.  Agnes, was asleep on the couch.  How did she get the couch...it was my apartment!  Needless to say, we slept for a few hours then went out that night....aaaahhhh to be in my twenties again!

Is it wrong???

I've found a new place to worship.  Okay, I've always know it was there, but today, when I walked in, I felt like I was home!

Yep...DSW. 

I had some time to kill while The Little One was at school, so off I went. 

The smell as I walked in the door was pure heaven...Oh the fabulous scent of Leather!  A mere glance to the left and there sat rows upon rows of glorious boots, and you all know how I feel about boots (if not click HERE).  While I did walk veeerrrrrryyyyyyy slowly through those aisles, I contained myself and did not try any on.

After spending way too much time, touching all the boots (possibly a little inappropriately) I found myself at the back of the store where...oh sweet shoe...it's the clearance section.  This particular DSW has the clearance section in a separate room divided by velvet curtains.  I felt a little dirty going in there...kinda like I was in the naughty room at the video store (you know what I'm talking about don't'cha Travis).

Anyway I couldn't help myself...more shoes...50%off...Oh Em Gee...I think I just about...oh wait...my dad reads this...never mind!

Needless to say, I bought myself a new pair of running shoes (not that I run) cause I've been going to the gym and the shoes I have kinda suck! 

Here's a picture...you know how I love to photograph my shoes...

Cute right?

I love the green...  You want to know why I bought green...

'cause they match my MP3 player...

Maybe tomorrow I should look for a matching outfit!!!!!

Hi, it's sven in Sveden...

I was watching American Idol tonight, and a car commercial came on.  I'm pretty sure that it was for Ford, and that's only because Ford has been an AI sponsor in the past...so I'm assuming here!  I'm basically an ad execs worst nightmare...commercials catch my eye, but I can never for the life of me remember what product they are selling.

Anyway, this particular commercial was about the automatic calling feature...or whatever it's called.  You know what I mean...you say, "call mom" and it dials your mom all without picking up your phone.

The following dramatization is what went through my head after this commercial aired.  Allow me to set the scene...

An immaculate dark blue Hyundai Tuscon gleaming both inside and out, while classical music plays serenely on the stereo.  Two young boys sitting quietly in the backseat reading books and ...

Oh wait...I was dreaming again...Here's reality...

A very dirty I-can't-tell-what-color-anymore-because-of-the-layers-of-dirt-covering-the-paint-job Hyundai Tuscon with more crumbs and toys on the floor than in the local landfill.  A frazzled mom trying to find a decent song on the radio (Train...Hey Soul Sister  He's totally on my list) to drown out the blaring dvd attached to the back of her headrest. 

When all of a sudden she hears...Hello?  Hello? 

Oh Sh*t...all the screaming coming from the backseat dialed another freakin wrong number!!!!!!

No wonder it's always a young single person in these ads...call mom my ass!

I hadn't realized it's been so long since I posted.  No...I haven't been playing the Wii.  And no, it is NOT because we had to return the silly Rabbid's to Blockbuster and the Library did not have it...I promise!

I'm just a slacker

What?

That shouldn't surprise you...it's not like that fact is a secret or anything.  You only have to walk into my house to see that I'm lazy and in desparate need of a cleaning service.

Instead of just babbling on about nothing in particular for the next few paragraphs, let me leave with a little something The Little One told me the other day.

Mommy, all girls have hair...but old people don't have a hair.  I have one grandma that is old and has hair.

I tried and tried and tried to get him to tell me which grandma he was talking about, especially since they are both old (just kidding) and have hair...but he wouldn't spill it.

Oh well...

I almost forgot today's music selection...

Dust in the Wind....Kansas

Silly Rabbid...

I am totally having one of those weeks days.  I have no motivation to do anything...except play the Wii.  Every once in a while I give in and allow The Big One to rent a game from Blockbuster.  This time against my better judgement, I also let The Little One pick one.  If I had been thinking (which I don't seem to do too often) I would have suggested the library...duh!  They could have picked games for FREE...but no...it didn't occur to me until they had made their choices at BB and I shelled out $15 (shut-up Mr. I-bought-another-mug-from Einstein's-because-it-was-only-fifty-cents-more, I don't want to hear it).

Anybabble...The Little One picked out Rabbid's Go Home.  If you are not a gamer, the Rabbid's are these little rabbit critters that push each other around in a shopping cart collecting junk.  They like to chase people around and scare them out of their clothes...I know...nice, right?  It seems to bring out my inner adolescent, because I LOVE THIS GAME.  We have been playing it  nonstop for several days.  As a matter of fact we wore out fresh batteries playing it so much...again...nice! 

No worries tho...it's due back tomorrow, so the Wii will probably go into hibernation again.  Unless, I decide to go to the library....hhhhmmmmmmmm!

Add it to your list...

Right about the time The Big One started to talk he began asking us for our credit card so we could buy every.single.item that was advertised on TV.  While he still does this occasionally, The Little One has taken over as the Billy Mays (may he rest in peace) of our household.  It doesn't matter what it is...he wants it.  This morning already he has asked for the Emery Cat & the Big Top Cupcake...Did you know that you could add your favorite ice cream to the Big Top Cupcake...I do becase The Little One just gave me a play by play of the commercial...

Finally I wanted to share with a you a few Littleisms.  These are the random things that The Little One has said recently that I just felt the need to share.

Enjoy!

If our house was a bowling alley...you could call more people to come here and we could get more money...then we could get more stuff.  (Yeah...more stuff from TV)

(while riding in the car)
If kids were teenagers, then they could sit up by you...But, if teenagers were kids, then they sit back here.

Everyone has to grow a beard, because I want a beard....and a mustache with my precious precious beard!

Have a great day!

Why I'm too old...or...how to break your leg in 15 seconds or less

I now completely understand why anyone over the age of 30 should NOT go sledding...

The Boys and I went yesterday, and I've decided to list all the reason why I should NEVER ever go sledding again.

I'm too old

I'm way too out of shape

Snow is cold

Climbing the hill sucks (you struggle up the hill for 15 seconds of Wheeeeeeeeeee!)

I'm too old

Ice under snow = twisted ankle

Twisted ankles hurt

Oh yeah...I'M TOO OLD!

We made our trek up the hill (The Big One then proceeded to climb back down the hill). The Little One & I jumped on our sleds.  He made it down first where he commenced screaming because he got snow in his gloves...heaven forbid.  Me on the other hand, made it about 3/4 of the way down before flipping over...no worries I didn't hurt myself until I stood up and tried to walk down the rest of the way.  Did I forget to tell you that there is a sheet of ice under the snow?  Yep...I took about 2 steps and fell...ooooowwwwwww...and twisted my ankle.  It hurts like hell, but it's not swollen so hopefully tomorrow I will be all better!

After that (when everyone was calmed down) we decided that we didn't need to go all the way to the top.  We crawled (I wasn't about to stand up on that hill again) about 1/3 of the way up where continued our quest for broken body parts from there.  Once we figured out what we were doing all was good.  The Big One eventually got braver and after each run we would scurry a little higher.  He may have made it all the way to the top if we didn't have to leave.

Oh well...maybe next time...and yes, there will be a next time.  I am a glutton for punishment after all.

Don't stand in the way of a girl & her soda!

I've officially lost it...I buckled under the pressure of American consumerism. 

I've been spending every Tuesday & Thursday at the park district swimming while The Little One is in preschool.  It's loverly...even if it is exercise.  By the time I finish my swim and shower (in what may be THE best shower EVER!)  I only have about 45 minutes before it's time to pick him up.  So, I've started bringing  a book and I just hang out in the lobby until 11:30.  It's nice, they have pretty comfy chairs and conveniently located vending machines.  Today...the freakin machine stole my money.  How am I supposed to get my soda fix if it steals my money?  Seriously!

No worries, because after all we are in the United States of America.  And of course that means you can pay for anything with a credit card. 

THE SODA MACHINES ARE EQUIPPED WITH CREDIT CARD SWIPERS!!!! 

Is that insane or what?  Don't have cash?  Step right up swipe your Amex and the $1.25 soda is yours.  Need that Powerade after your workout but you forgot to grab some change,  no problem swipe your Visa and your all set!

Oh...yeah I totally used my credit card to get my soda (can't wait to see that statement)...although not before glancing around to make sure nobody was witnessing my disgrace.

Really?!?!?!?!

I suppose it was inevitable and I should have seen it coming.  But, this kinda took my by surprise when I was shopping in Wal-mart today...

Yes...you too can say Bite Me with New Moon Sweethearts Candies

Really?!?!?!?!?

Oh and don't worry, all you Jacob fans out there...he has his own box too!

So does Bella...but does anyone really care about her?

Some of the other oh my god shoot me now cute-sy little hearts...

Dazzle

U R My Life

Trust Me

Live 4 Ever

Soul Mate

Forks (Oh yeah...this one is romantic!)

I ♥ EC  (just in case you didn't figure out from the box.

P.S.  The candy itself...still sucks!

Memoir Monday...

It's that time again...



I figured I have another story to tell so why not do it on Monday... with Travis and the Gang.  I must confess, I don't actually remember this story, but it is about me and I've heard it enough that it's almost like I remember it.  It takes place back in the good 'ol days...I'd guess around 1976 give or take.

When I was about four years old, my dad along with a couple of his dad friends, took all of us kids to Comiskey Park for a White Sox game.  I was the only girl.  Anyway as it happens when one kid has to go potty we all do.  So one of the other dads volunteered to take us to the bathroom.  Since in the mid 70s, the family bathroom was not yet in existance there was no other choice but to take me into the mens room.

For those of you over the age of 35 who happen to have a penis you may remember what the mens rooms at Comiskey Park (and probably a lot of other stadiums) were like back then.  Again, keep in mind that I don't actually have a memory of this.  They did not have the "normal" individual urinals, like civilized mens rooms of the 21st century.  Instead they had a trough like urinal...basically one long urinal stretched down the wall. More efficient that way I suppose.  All I can say is Eeeewwwwww!

Here's a picture...because as they say...a picture is worth a thousand eeeeeewwwwwwws.

Let me return to the present for a moment.  I have this annoying little habit of running my hand along the wall as I walk down a hallway.  I have no idea why I do this, but I do.  Shut up...we all have our quirky little habits...leave me alone.

Can you guess yet where this story is headed????

Back to 1976 and the mens room at Comiskey Park.  Apparently my little habit started long before I ever realized it.  Before the other dad could stop me, I was walking along the urinal dragging my hand through the water.  Hey I was 4...have water...will splash.  It's the goldren rule of toddlers.  I just hope he washed my hands before we left...he is a man after all!


And now, I can't forget this weeks Monday Music selection.

It always amazes me how a smell or a song can bring back memories.  The other night The Hubby was watching VH1 and they were talking about Nirvana & Kurt Cobain.  The song...Smells like Teen Spirit.  I was immediately reminded of my sophmore year of college and dorm life.  It brought back that longing for the "old" days of being on my own for the first time and having maybe a little bit too much fun.  Coincidently it was around that time that I met The Hubby. (Although we did not start dating for another year and a half.)

So please...enjoy

Resolutions...

I’ve never been one for New Years Resolutions. Mostly because I never even try to really keep them, so why bother. But this year I’m gonna give it another shot. Here goes nothing…

1. Stop procrastinating. Well blew that one already…It’s January 3 and I’m just now getting around to the resolutions. Okay so this one was really just a joke. I will never be able to stop procrastinating. It’s in my nature…it’s part of who I am…I just can’t help it.  In general, I'm a very lazy person and procrastination comes standard with lazy.

2. Get dressed...every day. Is it wrong that I spent December 30 and 31 in my pajamas? (I told you I was lazy) I did take a shower, but I just put fresh jammies on.  Although, I can't guarantee that I will not drive The Big One to school in my pj's.

(I had a whole list of things to add to this list when I was thinking about it last night.  Now, for the life of me, I can not remember what else I was going to add.)

Okay the first 2 were a pathetic attempt at humor.  Here comes the only resolution that really matters...

3.  Try to be healthy in general.  One of our biggest problems is that we eat out way too much.  I'm going to try my darndest to cook. (Stop laughing...It could happen)  If we eat at home more, then everything else will just fall into place, right?

 I think that was a good start.  I know there was more to my list, but again I don't remember what it was...so we will leave it like this for now. 

Happy New Year!